I feel better today. the reason i guess because i was abandoning my dissertation for two days. Yup, i need a break, at least 2 or 3 days. Hence i didn’t do anything academic since yesterday. maybe i’ll resume on monday, after recharging.
- Iz OUT -
life can be pretty hard sometimes. there’s up and there’s down.
at the moment, i’m experiencing the down part.
i am so tense and bored with my dissertation. everyday trying hard to write and trying to complete the 10,000 words thing is not an enjoyable thing to do in life. sometimes i just cant do anything although i force myself very very hard. if only writing can be as easy as carrie bradshaw in sex & the city.
there’s another part which adds to the pain. lonely. try imagine living alone in a house and then stuck with your unfinished essay…pretty boring huh ! and i assure you it is so lonely. you have nobody to talk to and all you have is yourself. i miss everybody back home ! i need the company ! all my friends here are occupied with their dissertation too…cant wait for this to be over…
i just hope that ALLAH will give me something BIG after this. put a smile in my face ..again.
- Iz OUT-
ni la akibatnya duduk sorang sorang kat dlm rumah. takde sesapa teman nak bercakap. if ada pun, kengkawan and keluarga kat malaysia yang telefon, baru la bercakap. kalau tak, memang tak akan bercakap, kecuali menyanyi sorang sorang kat rumah ni.
akibatnya dah tak reti cakap english. hari tu ada beberapa org call pasal bil, and soheh ler dia cakap english. boleh pulak tergagap gagap nak jawab, dah tu kena pikir dulu apa nak cakap…ish..bahaya ni. betul la bahasa ni benda yang kita kena praktik selalu. kalau tak, boleh hilang.
lepas ni kena cakap english balik…tak best la kena pikir dulu baru boleh cakap…
apa la nak jadi…
- Iz OUT -
Living here, enjoying the four seasons, being able to travel and see this beautiful country are some of the greatest things that happened in my life. i admit that and i am really thankful because i was chosen to experience all this.
but, it doesn’t come cheap. there’s a price to pay.
for 14 months i was unable to enjoy certain things:-
- enjoying the comfort of HOME. i miss having dinner with my family, going out beli barang dapur, watching movies with my sis, sitting together with my family watching akademi fantasia, and enjoying short family vacations. nothing for 14 months and what i get is Loneliness.
- i miss going out with my closest friends, we used to go out , makan makan and then watch movies. sometimes we go for bowling. i miss them so much. i miss shopping with them, beli perfume, beli baju and 1001 things that we used to do. nothing like that for 14 months and what occupies me is again, loneliness.
- i miss my love. for her, i miss everyhting, every single thing about her. thinking about her makes me wanna go back home so that we can be in the same picture again. if only she is here…
MTV is totally right …IT’S NOT WHAT YOU DO, IT’S WHO YOU DO IT WITH…
- Iz OUT -
you can do research, then you can read. now, the hardest part. WRITING or putting your ideas and what you have read on paper. it is not an easy task.
i have been trying to write since yesterday, but to no avail.
now it’s 1.35 am, still having no idea what to write although i did have my break to watch nip / tuck just now.
have to keep thinking and start writing.
- Iz OUT -
Yeah…i think i’m back.
why ? coz
- i met my friends last night for dinner. at least it cheers me up .
- i called my love today, hearing her voice makes my day.
- my research is going okey, found some articles that really helps
- the song "I dream" really makes me going…
i thank ALLAH for all of the above.
have a look HERE too. thanks.
- Iz OUT -
In my mind
I can climb
All the mountains that surround me
My spirit’s there, where eagles dare to fly
In my heart
There’s a spark
That can light the world around me
An open door, where I am sure dreams are
It doesn’t matter if I win
Or the colour of my skin
Cause the race is all about
Believing in yourself
And I dream
I can run
Like the wind
And be strong
When my heart just wants to give in
I dream
I can be
The hero that’s in me
When I dream, I dream
If there’s a time
In your life
When the odds are so against you
There’s no defeat, if all you keep is pride
First or last
Slow or fast
There’s a dignity that makes you
Keep driving on, when world’s have come apart
It doesn’t matter rich or poor
Or the things you’ve done before
Cause the race is all about
Believing in yourself
And I dream
I can run
Like the wind
And be strong
When my heart just wants to give in
I dream
I can be
The hero that’s in me
When I dream, I dream
I dream
Of a moment
That forever will be golden
When the torch is passed
Only dreams will last
That are shared by everyone
And I dream
I can run
Like the wind
And be strong
When my heart just wants to give in
I dream
I can be
The hero that’s in me
When I dream, I dream
Performed by : Taufik Batisah ( S’pore Idol )
so far, my research is doin’ okey, although sometimes i do search for other things (like mp3 songs) when i was doing my research..hehehe…but, as a warm up start, i grade myself as okey.
now i have the ‘mood’ to do my dissertation. i know that from the fact that i have been panicking for a couple of times, just being afraid that i cant do it on time. i think that is only my negative side talking. i should believe that i can do it.
will try my best. my target is to submit my first draft to my supervisor at the end of the month. hmmm…camner la nak tulis 10,000 perkataan nih !
- Iz OUT -
yup ! it is time to get busy. still feeling lonely, but have to move on.
started doing research for my dissertation today. it is so hard to do it because i was ‘relaxing’ for almost 3 months….and now have to start again…arghhhh….so bosan !
will see how’s my progress, just hope that i will get back on my feet.
- Iz OUT -
My sis went home yesterday after spending her vacation with me here in the UK.
and..my life becomes lonely again. Sepi and Sunyi seperti biasa.kembali normal.
have to be strong and go on.
I have to keep myself busy doing my dissertation. at this point, cant wait to go home, to enjoy the comfort of HOME.
-Iz OUT-
